I'll Miss You
by BookDragon1322
Summary: Lance and Keith's long distance relationship was going well, until it wasn't. After a three month gap on Keith's behalf, Lance gets caught out on a mission, and now Keith won't ever get a chance to fix his mistakes again. WARNINGS - Major character death, hurt no comfort, tad bit of swearing.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER - I don't own any of the characters here, just the plot! :-)

"Hey Keith, it's me again, I miss you! How's the Blade going?"

"Oh, hey Lance, great... Listen, I gotta go. Bye."

"Wai-!"

"It's like we're not even together anymore! We promised to make this long distance thing work!"

"Yeah, whatever Lance. I don't have time to listen to you complaining."

"Sorry."

"Keith? I know you're busy, I just wanted to s-"

"Lance, I'm busy! Just wait for me to call you!"

"Oh.. ok."

Three months. Three months he waited for Keith to call him back. Maybe he was just busy? Maybe… maybe...

He learned to get over it, he had to, he couldn't let it affect his missions. It would put everyone at risk. He just had to.. Let Keith go. He didn't like it, no, he LOVED Keith! But Keith was busy, and Lance didn't have time to wait anymore.

He was fine though. He spends most days in his room, but he's fine. He just has to get through this mission then he could go back to his room. But... what's happening? Stop!

It was supposed to be simple, it was supposed to be easy, but it wasn't. The aliens betrayed them, gave away their position to the Galra. Why didn't Lance stick with the group? Now he was gonna be trapped here, with the Galra shooting at him, and a bullet  
hole in his stomach…

This was it. He knew it was. He could hear his team calling for help through the comms, and immediately felt sorry that he wouldn't be able to save him, not this time. His mind drifted to the one member that wasn't here. Keith. They had been in a relationship  
for just under a year, if you included the three-month silence. Lance would do anything to hear his voice just one more time.

So he called him. And Keith picked up.

"Lance? I thought I told you to wait for me to call you!"

Lance almost cried at that, his last few moments and he was getting yelled at.

"I know, I'm sorry but I-"

"No Lance, I'm going. Goodbye."

This time a few tears did slip out, he grabbed his side trying to keep the blood in, trying to keep his slowly fading vision intact.

"Goodbye Keith."

He hung up. But he wasn't done. He sent Keith a quick text to ignore his next call, to let it go to voicemail, and rung again.

"This is Keith. I'll call you back. Maybe."

Lance sniffled as he heard Keith's voice for what could be the very last time ever. He would miss him. But he had to stay strong, he had a message to say.

"Keith. Hi. So… I'm dying. Yup. Got shot at. I just wanted to say goodbye, and I love you. I know you are busy, so I shouldn't have called you in the first place, but I wanted to hear your voice one last time. Heh, who knew the last time I ever heard  
you it would be you hanging up on me. Don't worry, I'm not mad."

Lance groaned softly as more shots rang out, not realizing until now how they never actually stopped.

"I'm... I'm sorry Keith. I'm sorry I kept calling you and making you angry. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry that the last time you will ever hear my voice will be so disappointing for you. I should've just left you alone."

"Lance! LANCE!" He heard Pidge, or maybe it was Hunk, call out through his comms, and realized that they were probably worried about him. He ignored for a little while, opting instead to finish talking to Keith.

"Well, anyway, I gotta go. Heh, that's usually your line. Always, 'I'm busy', or 'I have to go', I'm honestly surprised it was never 'I'm breaking up with you', would've fit right in with the rest of your words.

Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm actually not mad at you, I wouldn't like me either. Anyway, vision's fading pretty fast so I'm gonna have to go now… Goodbye Keith, I love you."

He hung up the phone. For the last time ever, and tuned into his comms, hearing his voice being screamed, he quickly reassured the others he was still alive.

"Hey, guys, what's up?"

He cringed as more shots bounced off the rock he was hiding behind, his wound burning as he moved so he was more undercover.

"Why didn't you reply? We were calling for ages!" He could hear the desperation in Shiro's voice and felt a pit of sadness opening in his gut, sorry that things were about to get a lot worse for them.

"I was talking to Keith, sorry guys." Well, it wasn't a lie, was it?

"Is now really the time for it? We're kinda in the middle of something."

His vision faded in and out, blurring and darkening before coming back again, though never as good as it was before. Lance knew his time was almost over, better wrap this up.

"Hmm. He thought not. Well anyway, how's it going for you guys? Anyone hurt?"

"No, it's pretty easy where we are, they mostly seem to be in the big cave, ya know?"

He chuckled humorlessly at the irony of it, of course, most of them would be where he is.

"That's great!"

"Yeah. Where are you anyway? Haven't seen you for a while."

"Oh you know, here and there. Ah, you'll find me eventually." He instantly cringed at his wording of choice of wording, knowing someone was bound to notice it.

"Fine you? What do you mean?!" Pidge, of course it would be Pidge to pick up on that.

"Oh! Nothing! Don't worry about it. Listen... I'm gonna have to go, some more troops just showed up, sprouting all that 'Vrepit Sa' bullshit, I'll see ya later though guys, hopefully not too soon. Goodbye! I love you all! Say hi to Keith for me!"

"Lance? Lance?!"

His eyes closed for the last time as his name was called frantically. They'd be ok, so would his family on Earth, and the Lions, Voltron would win, he was sure of it.

His last breath left him in a whisper,

Goodbye...

A/N Thanks for reading! I'm sorry about what I did to poor Lancey Lance...


	2. Chapter 2

"Lance?" Hunk asked, wondering where his best friend was, and why he hadn't heard from him in a while, it was not like Lance to go more than 10 mins without talking. A battle may have been going on, but Hunk still noticed the missing presence of his friend.

"Hey guys has anyone heard from Lance?" He asked, getting worried. Lance had seemed pretty down lately because of Keith, so he planned a night for just the two of them filled with all of Lance's favourite things, he honestly couldn't wait.

"No, but he's probably just screwing around, trying to scare us." Hunk frowned at the tone of Pidge's voice, no liking the touch of venom it had.

"Well, Lance, we have to go, so stop screwing around or we'll leave you behind." Shiro commanded.

"I don't know guys, it's not like Lance to prank us like this, he's more of a joke dude.." He was really starting to worry now, and turned on his tracker that would tell him where the Red Lion was. He sighed in relief slightly as he saw it was near the village, probable hanging with the kids as was Lance's style after a mission.

"Hey guys, I'm going to go get him." He didn't wait for any responses as he turned Yellow around to go to Lance, and prepared his lecture in his head, after all, it wouldn't do Lance any good to let him off when he worried Hunk so much.

He and Yellow flew closer to the blip on the map, until it finally came into view, and he landed beside, already walking out before the Lion stopped. He walked out of his Lion's mouth, and strolled closer to Red, knocking on her to open up when he got close enough.

He stopped in the cockpit when he realised Lance wasn't there, but suspected that he was just talking to the townsfolk, those that didn't betray them at least. Hunk went to walk out when he tripped slightly, and caught himself using the wall. He was immediately overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness and desperation, coming from Red.

"Guys I think something's wrong, Lance isn't in or near the lion, and Red is incredibly sad and desperate, almost like she's in mourning." His worry shone through his voice, as he started to run out of Red, stumbling slightly from the force of her sadness that was penetrating the air in waves now that it was released.

"It's fine, she's probably just hurt. Use Yellow to scan for Lance's life sign around where you are. He's probably just wandered off."

"You're right, thanks Pidge."

He went back to Yellow and did just that. Except… Lance's life sign was nowhere around, not in the 5 mile radius the lions were capable of searching anyway. Which doesn't make sense, as even in the castle Lance never went 3 miles away from Red and Blue.

"He's not within 5 miles of Red… That's not right! Something's wrong! We need to find him! We need to.."

"Calm down Hunk, is there anything around that would block the scan? What about that cave?"

The other lions had landed by then, and Pidge was standing next to Hunk. Shiro and Allura were still in their lions and Coran was in the atmosphere with the castle. Pidge pointed to a large cave where all the Galra were earlier in the fight, which had now crumbled in on itself. It was just like Lance to get trapped in a cave searching for the dead Galra.

"Ok, ok, I'll blast it open. But what if the rocks hit Lance?"

"The only thing that will be hurt is his ego at getting trapped in a cave. Besides, he deserves it by making you worry."

Within 5 minutes the cave was burst open, and all the paladins were in the cave, it being too small of the lions to fit. They were all roaming around the cave, calling out Lance's name, though some less enthusiastically than others. The only one who was really worried was Hunk, being his best friend and all.

It was half an hour later when they found a stack of galra, all blasted to death, and they all smiled at what was obviously Lance's work. It was only when Pidge passed a large rock deeper into the cave that her smile dropped, she had found Lance.

A small cry escaped her, and the others immediately ran over, but stopped upon seeing what she saw.

Lance. Leaning against the rock with a small smile on his face. His blood creating a small pool around him.

They all saw the hole in his stomach, which had long since stopped leaking blood. A slight touch from Hunk revealed his body was stone cold, his life having left him hours ago. Hunk collapsed by his body in shock, Pidge soon joining him, as tears streamed down his face, invisible to all those present.

It was like every sound in the world suddenly stopped, leaving complete silence in its wake. They all realised that Lance was dead, but no one wanted to believe it.

"No!"

The startled cry from Hunk brought everything back into focus. The salty tears, the quiet drip of water somewhere deeper in the cave, the crushing despair that was felt by all. Most of all Hunk.

"No, no no! Lance no! C'mon buddy wake up! WAKE UP PLEASE WAKE UP! I CAN'T LOSE YOU PLEASE!"

His cries of desperation drowned out the sobbing coming from Pidge, the startled breaths that came from Allura, and the questions coming through the crackling comms.

"LANCE PLEASE! NO! NONONONO! NO! No! Please! Come back wake up I need you Lance please!"

His sentences now came with sobbing, loud, ugly cries. None of the others could move to stop Hunk from shaking the blue boy, none could think of any but themselves and their loss.

"Lance! Stop being silly! You are going to wake up, and come back onto the castle ship, and we will have the best sleepover! We'll watch movies and play games, and I'll even let you do that skin care routine on me like you keep begging me! You just gotta…. Gotta wake up…"

Hunk's voice slowly trailed out, leaving them in silence once again. They couldn't recall how long they stayed like that. Could've been minutes, could've been hours. The only thing that broke them from their stupor was Coran's voice coming through the comms, asking for information, whether they needed backup, why Lance wasn't replying.

With that, Hunk picked up Lance without talking, and walked back to Yellow, flying to the castle. He didn't even notice Black picking up Red, or Yellow taking over so that Hunk could sit and hold Lance, his best friend who was no longer there to tell his jokes, flirt with Allura, stop him from stress cooking, send Pidge to bed, comfort them all.

He didn't realise just what he lost until then.

When Coran saw Lance, he broke down in tears, his moustache turning dark orange as it soaked his tears. They all knew that Lance was his favourite, and Hunk just left him there, heading to the infirmary. He just had to put Lance in a healing pod, it would fix him. It would!

But the pod wouldn't accept Lance. But it would only do that if he wasn't alive, so it must be broken, he just had to try another pod. But why won't that one work either?

None of them worked.

He sat with Lance in his arms for the next three hours, crying until he couldn't cry anymore, then just sitting there staring at nothing. The others joined him. They skipped dinner that night.

The next day was the same, and the next, and the next. They all sat in a funk for a week, until Coran suggested they start the funeral preparations, which was ok with the others, until Hunk started yelling about how his family deserved his body, his family deserved him, that they didn't deserve him, and how dare they think of keeping Lance's body from his family. They then set the course for Earth, and they were all quiet.

The castle was silent, making the loss of Lance's presence felt even more clear, his jokes no longer filling the air, lifting the mood, as only Lance was able to do. They were all lost to themselves and their grief, slowly growing hungrier and hungrier, their under eye bags growing bit by bit everyday.

None of them thought of telling Keith.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith's life was going great. He had a job that he loved, a place he belonged, and a boyfriend who loved him.

Lance. He was just amazing! With his big, blue eyes, and his soft skin, his smile that lights up a room. Keith honestly thought he was in love. And yes, he knows he ignores Lance a bit, but he was gonna make it up to him!

Speaking of his amazing boyfriend, Lance had called him again! And there was a voicemail! If only Keith wasn't in a meeting. All he could think about was Lance, what was he going to say in the voicemail? It was old, almost four weeks old in fact, but Keith was too busy on a mission to check his phone earlier.

Suddenly, Keith got an idea, he would go visit him! He would go to Voltron and spend the weekend with Lance. He was so excited! When the meeting finished three hours later, he immediately rushed to packed his bags and told Kolivan where he was going.

In his rush, he had forgotten the voicemail.

He arrived at the castle ship a little over two hours after he left, and docked. He texted Lance to come out to the hangar, but after five minutes, he decided just to go find him, after all, there were only four places he could be.

But he wasn't with Blue, or in his room, or in the kitchen, or in the observatory. And strangely enough, Keith hadn't seen anyone else either. He'd go looking for them first, they'd be able to tell them where Lance was.

He found them all in the hull, all huddled together, and… crying?

That couldn't be right, Shiro never cries, and Coran preferred cheering others! And where was Lance?

No matter how many times he called their names from the doorway, they acted as if they couldn't hear him. Time to go in then. He went up behind them and tapped Hunk on the soldier, thinking he would know where his best friend is.

"Hey Hunk," he called softly as the boy in question turned to look at him, his eyes empty, "where's Lance?"

Keith took a step back as Hunk looked vaguely pissed, then burst into tears. All the others turned to look at the two, blinking before turning back to face the wall, ignoring the sobbing yellow paladin.

"H-Hunk? What's wrong? Is Lance ok?"

This just made Hunk cry harder, and Pidge turned back to Keith and told him in a deadpan voice.

"He's gone."

Keith blinked in confusion, and sadness wavered on Pidge's face. She turned away as she started quietly sobbing, and Keith turned to Shiro.

"Gone? What do you mean gone? Did the galra capture him? I'll get him back!"

Keith stood up to leave, but Shiro grabbed his wrist, stopping him with a look of mourning.

"No, the galra don't have him. He's… dead."

With those words, Keith's world shattered.

 _Dead. Dead. Dead dead dead deadeadeadeadeadead DEAD!_

"D-Dead? Lance is dead?"

Shiro nodded in sorrow and patted the floor next to him. Keith fell down in shock, and Shiro patted his arm sympathetically. Keith soon broke out of his shock and ran out, getting in his ship and flying away. He had to stop three minutes into his trip as he started to sob. His hands gripped his mouth to stifle the sound, tears pouring out of his widened eyes.

His vision was blurry, his hand shaking, nails digging into his face. His limbs were locked and stiff, and his heart beat painfully in his chest, feeling empty.

It took him almost four hours to calm down enough to fly back to the Blade of Marmora, where he ignored Kolivan's questions and ran to his 'room'. It felt cold and empty, but now everything did.

Lance was his whole world, the thing that kept him grounded, and now he was…. Gone?

The light of his life had left him, what was he going to do now?

Keith felt cold, he curled in a small ball, but it didn't help, nothing would. What would save him when his hero was around anymore? Was there any reason to go on anymore?

Keith was having trouble thinking of them.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been three months since he found out about Lance's death, and it's been hard. The everyday things that used to be like second nature now seem harder than ever before. It takes an effort to wake up, eat breakfast, get ready for the day. Everyday Keith has to count his reasons to go on. It's not a long list, but it's the only thing that keeps him going anymore.

After Keith stormed out of the castle, he spent a week at the Blade, before coming back to the castle to grieve. All day is spent in Lance's room, curling up with his jacket and savoring his scent.

It was around the middle of the month when Keith turned on his phone to reread all Lance's texts to him. Keith saw there was a new voicemail, and it was from... Lance? He vaguely remembers seeing the voicemail before coming to the castle when he got the news, but he must have forgotten. He hesitates for barely a second, then plays it, wanting to hear Lance's voice again.

The first thing he heard when he pressed play was Lance sniffling, but Keith can't remember any time that Lance had cried around him, so what was going on?

"Keith. Hi. So… I'm dying."

Keith then realized, Lance had called him when he was dying… Why did the first words he heard have to hurt so bad? It felt like he had a shot in his stomach just like Lance did.

"Yup. Got shot at. I just wanted to say goodbye, and I love you. I know you are busy, so I shouldn't have called you in the first place, but I wanted to hear your voice one last time. Heh, who knew the last time I ever heard you it would be you hanging up on me. Don't worry, I'm not mad."

Tears slowly streamed out of Keith's eyes as he heard Lance talk, and his already broken heart was slowly being squeezed right out of his chest. He heard Lance softly groan away from the mic, and gunshots rang out in the background.

"I'm... I'm sorry Keith. I'm sorry I kept calling you and making you angry. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry that the last time you will ever hear my voice will be so disappointing for you. I should've just left you alone."

If his heart was broken before, now it was _shattered_. What had he done? How could Lance think he would ever be disappointed in him? The answer came to him instantly. All the rejected calls, all the ignored texts, if only he could go back in time and fix his mistakes.

Pidge's voice called out in the background, and for a slight second Keith had hope that Lance would be saved, before he remembered this was in the past, and nothing could be done to save Lance anymore.

"Well, anyway, I gotta go. Heh, that's usually your line. Always, 'I'm busy', or 'I have to go', I'm honestly surprised it was never 'I'm breaking up with you', would've fit right in with the rest of your words."

The weight of what Keith had done came slamming into him. How could he ever ignore Lance? His only sunshine, the only thing that kept him happy and sane in space. What did he do to deserve him in the first place?

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm actually not mad at you, I wouldn't like me either. Anyway, vision's fading pretty fast so I'm gonna have to go now… Goodbye Keith, I love you."

Even after all Keith had done, Lance still loved him? Still forgave him in the end? The end tone of the voicemail sounded, and Keith knew that that was the moment when all hope was lost.

Why couldn't it have been Keith that died? Lance had so much to live for, a family back on earth, all his friends on Voltron, all his hopes, and dreams. Lance kept everyone sane. He calmed Hunk, protected Pidge, even cleaned with Coran just so he would have someone to talk to besides Allura.

Everyone in the castle that night was kept up by Keith's loud wails. Coming from everywhere and nowhere, filling up every crack and space in the massive ship. His pain was felt by everyone, as they all remembered the things Lance had done for them, and his final words. If only they had clued into Lance's pain when they still had a chance to save him.

When Lance died, it seemed like all the light in the castle went with him.

They all wished to be the one to have died instead.


End file.
